Alice Cooper: Welcome 2 My Nightmare 2011

Making a sequel to just about anything — just seems like a bad idea. Did the world really need “Police Academy 2”? Did “Jaws 2” improve upon the masterpiece that was the original? Sure, “The Empire Strikes Back” and “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” actually surpass their predecessors in every way imaginable, but they are the exception, not the rule. For every “The Dark Knight”, there is a “Teen Wolf Too” — a blatant attempt by the studio to cash in on the name and success of the original with nothing new to offer.

Which brings us to Alice Cooper's, “Welcome 2 My Nightmare”, his sequel to 1975's, “Welcome to My Nightmare”, his stunning solo debut. Full disclosure here; “Welcome to My Nightmare” is one of my all time favorite records. So obviously any album by Alice Cooper essentially bearing the same name, is going to be fighting an uphill battle with me. Alice has said in interviews while promoting the album that it's not really a sequel, but instead is a new nightmare. Maybe I'm a sucker for marketing manipulation, but that clever little bit of spin does help me accept the possibility of a Nightmare sequel — somewhat.

Alice assembled an all star line-up for this effort. Vince Gill, Ke$ha, Kip Winger, Rob Zombie, and John 5 all make appearances. Of course longtime producer, song-writer, and fifth Beatle in the Alice Cooper universe, Bob Ezrin, makes his mandatory contributions. In addition, Alice also brought back several members of the original — and best — Alice Cooper Band. This caught my interest immediately. I love the original Alice Cooper Band line-up.

“Welcome 2 My Nightmare” sounds amazing. The production is modern and glossy. The musicianship is top notch. It has to be. This album covers a lot of musical ground. The record effortlessly shifts from garage rock to country, disco to pop, and everything in-between. Alice, himself, sounds fantastic. His voice isn't showing any signs of age.

Of course, the quality of ones voice is a moot point when, on track one, it is auto-tuned a la Lil' Wayne, for the entirety of the song. It actually works for the most part, although I'm sure many hard rockin' purists will reject this track on principle alone. “I Am Made of You” triumphantly emerges as the best, albeit unlikely, track on the album. Opening with a piano passage lifted directly from the original “Welcome to My Nightmare”, “I Am Made of You”, is a stirring pseudo-ballad — an epic number that sounds more like an album closer than an opener.

The second track, “Caffeine” sounds much more like what one might expect when tossing an Alice Cooper record on the old turntable. “Caffeine” is reminiscent of classic seventies era Alice Cooper. Which is good because I prefer that over hair-metal Alice Cooper of the eighties.

It should be noted before going any further, that once again, Alice is telling the story of a character (who may or may not be Steven from “Welcome to My Nightmare”), who is suffering from a series of terrifying nightmares (thus the need for “Caffeine”), pushing the boundaries of sanity and thrusting him toward a dark and sometimes corny, descent into hell.

The songs are, for at least the first half of the record, surprisingly strong. “A Runaway Train” rocks with a little country twang courtesy of Vince Gill. His solo shreds. “Last Man on Earth”, echoes the original Nightmare album's, schmaltzy track, “Some Folks.” “The Congregation” reminds me of a modern twist on 1972's “Elected.” “I'll Bite Your Face Off” borrows heavily from the Rolling Stones, but works really well. “Welcome 2 My Nightmare” loses a little steam with the straight disco cheese that is “Disco Bloodbath Boogie Fever.” John 5 turns in an excellent solo at the tail end of the tune, but even his blast of virtuosity isn't enough to save this ill-advised dance track. The album continues to sputter with “Ghouls Gone Wild” — a fifties style beach rocker that just isn't as fun as it should be. “Something To Remember Me By” is a surprisingly beautiful ballad that really showcases Alice's remarkable vocal ability. “When Hell Comes Home” follows and finally restores the promise of the albums earlier tracks. “What Baby Wants” is pop rock duet with Ke$ha. I'm absolutely positive that 100 percent of the metal head community will hate this. I don't really care for it either. It's not horrible, it just sounds more like a Ke$ha track than an Alice Cooper track. “I Gotta Get Outta Here” can be best described as an upbeat version of 1971's “The Ballad of Dwight Frye.”

The album closes with “The Underture”, an instrumental medley of both the original “Welcome to My Nightmare” and its sequel. It's actually a well crafted piece of music and fans of the original Nightmare will certainly enjoy it. Unfortunately for me, every time “Welcome 2 My Nightmare” quotes a passage of music from “Welcome to My Nightmare”, whether it's in “The Underture” medley, the piano in “I Am Made of You”, or the shouts of “Steven” in “When Hell Comes Home”, I am reminded of an infinitely better record and mentally removed from enjoying “Welcome 2 My Nightmare” for what it is. I know this isn't fair to Alice's second Nightmare, but honestly, I was having a hard time welcoming this nightmare with open arms anyway. 6/10

Van Halen: Fair Warning 1981

Van Halen has been in the news quite a bit as of late. This is of course, due in no small part to a balls out marketing push behind their newest album, “A Different Kind of Truth.” “A Different Kind of Truth” will be their first new album since 1998’s Gary Cherone fronted and ill-fated Van Halen III and also the first to feature original front man and notorious blabbermouth, David Lee Roth, in 28 years since 1984’s redundantly titled 1984.

Van Halen was one of the first rock bands I was introduced to as a kid. My sister, who is eight years older than I am, was a huge Van Halen fan. They were her favorite band. I can even remember her attempting, unsuccessfully I might add, to carve the Van Halen logo into a pumpkin for Halloween. Later, I had a friend in high school who was a huge Van Halen fan as well. He would loan me all of their tapes to copy, kinda like a primitive Napster only with liner notes and two sides. He would also loan me George Carlin tapes. Looking back now, I can’t figure out why I wasn’t a closer friend with him. He obviously had great taste. Of course anyone who was a kid in the eighties remembers Van Halen’s hilarious and groundbreaking videos on MTV. In 1984 every nerd in every high school in America was tormented with “Sit down, Waldo” thanks to Van Halen and their “Hot for Teacher” video.

Quite simply, Van Halen was the coolest rock band in the world.

I dig all of the Van Halen albums, even the Van Hagar era. I do like the six David Lee Roth records better, but that’s like saying you like blowjobs — everyone likes those. My favorite of the bunch is 1981’s “Fair Warning.” I guess this was their slowest selling record at the time and was looked at as somewhat of a commercial disappointment. I can see why. It’s certainly not a commercial release. There really aren’t any obvious singles or any standard FM radio fair. There also aren’t any cover songs, which Van Halen had kinda leaned on for radio airplay with their early releases. “Fair Warning” is just a slammin’ collection of pissed off and dirty rock tunes. It’s a little edgy for Van Halen — a band that is more or less considered “party-rock.” My crack Wikipedia research informs me that there was internal struggle within the band — perhaps an early butting of heads between Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth — and that friction is wonderfully reflected in the music.

The record kicks off with guitar wunderkind, Eddie Van Halen, performing slap bass on an electric guitar during the quick fade in to “Mean street.” Roth barks about “the living dead” and “being sick of these four walls.” Not anthemic party rock, but instead gritty tales of urban decay. “Dirty Movies” follows with a sweet seventies style Michael Anthony bass line, which provides the backdrop to a sordid tale of the girl next-door turned porn star, as evidenced by Roth, who during the break gleefully shouts “TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT ALL OFF!”

Track three is another upbeat rocker titled “Sinners Swing!”. The backing vocals really propel the song. It also features one of Eddie’s best guitar solos on the record. Roth’s vocals are really fantastic on the record. He was never gifted with the greatest set of pipes — he sometimes seems to get by on charisma alone — but that’s okay, he got plenty to spare. “Hear About It Later” is also buoyed by hooky backing vocals and a memorable chorus. It’s a good tune, but probably my least favorite on the record.

The centerpiece of the album is the fifth track, “Unchained.” The song opens with a super heavy riff, in a dropped D tuning (long before Seattle made detuned riffage the norm, I might add) and features another memorable Roth-ian breakdown in the middle. “Unchained” would go on to become a staple in Van Halen’s set and continues to be one to this day. The funky “Push Comes to Shove” follows. This tune reeks of the seventies and is somewhat “disco-esque.” It may not appeal to every Van Halen fan, especially those who only like their rock bands to rock… all the time.

The upbeat and radio-ready “So This Is Love?” makes its appearance at track seven. This was the closest “Fair Warning” would come to radio success, as the song charted for a brief time. The dark and keyboard-heavy instrumental “Sunday Afternoon in the Park”, follows and serves, as somewhat of a harbinger of things to come sonically for Van Halen, as the bands experimentation with keyboards would continue to expand in the eighties. The song segues directly into the frantic, “One Foot Out the Door”, an upbeat and paranoia inducing number about a love triangle gone wrong that closes out the album.

Through the years it’s become kinda trendy to cite “Fair Warning” as your favorite Van Halen album. I guess its cool to like the underdog. However, it’s worthy of the praise. If you are only familiar with Van Halen’s chart busting 1984 album or their eponymous debut, give “Fair Warning” a try. It’s a little grittier and a little rough around the edges, but it’s a rewarding listen if you have thirty minutes to spare and can’t bear the thought of hearing “Jump” one more time. The band is in their prime and Eddie’s performance especially, is mind-blowing. What else would you expect? He’s the most influential and innovative guitarist since Jimi Hendrix. You’ve been warned. 8.5/10

Anthrax: Worship Music 2011

I was a huge fan when Joey Belladonna fronted Anthrax during their heyday in the mid to late 80’s. I can remember sporting a white “No Frills” Anthrax t-shirt to school with pride. Yeah, I was badass. That was of course, a much different band than the Anthrax of today. Whereas the other three members of the much-ballyhooed “Big Four” (Metallica, Slayer, and Megadeth) all hailed from the Golden State, the Anthrax of my youth was unapologetically New York. In interviews and on stage they spoke with thick New YAWK accents. This was kinda cool to a Midwest kid from Ohio. It was like some longhaired extras from the set of Goodfellas walked up on stage in Public Enemy t-shirts and jams and started belting out “I Am the Law.” The California thrashers dressed in a uniform of high-tops, skintight jeans, and black tee shirts. Anthrax wore shorts. Megadeth, Slayer, and Metallica were for the most part, humorless. Anthrax was often downright funny. Jeff Hanneman of Slayer played a guitar with a Dead Kennedy’s sticker. Former Anthrax lead-man, Dan Spitz played one with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Metalica recorded an E.P. of metal and punk covers called “Garage Days Revisited.” Anthrax recorded an E.P. comprised mostly of three different versions of a hilarious Beastie Boys-like track titled “I’m the Man.” But make no mistake; Anthrax could bring the heavy with the big boys, thus their inclusion in the Big Four. However, humor and general silliness aside, Anthrax had one other striking distinction that separated them from their Big Four brethren —a singer who could really sing.

But that was the 80’s. The 90’s would be a whole 'nother kettle of fish for heavy metal.

By 1991, metal was about to reach the zenith of its popularity with the super-duper, mega-platinum “Black Album” by Metallica. However, in that same year a little album by a little known band from Seattle, Washington would also be released. Nirvana’s “Nevermind” would wash away the remnants of 80’s crotch-rock and usher in a new era of alternative “grunge” rock; a post-punk revolution that would reboot the music landscape for Generation X. Gone would be the virtuosic shredding of classically trained guitar wankers, vapid songs about fucking, and musicians donning more hairspray and make-up than a stage full of Miss Universe contestants. In its place the 90’s would find flannel shirts, Doc Martins, detuned guitars, introspective — if not downright depressing lyrical subject matter, MTV Unplugged, Bill Clinton, Columbine, and AOL Internet CD-ROM’s in every store, all topped off with copious amounts of Generation X angst. Grunge was here.

Metal Bands like Anthrax were left to wonder just where they fit into the new musical landscape. It was time for a good old-fashioned look in the mirror. Unfortunately, lead singer Joey Belladonna would be the odd man out. The band, (maybe rightly so) figured Joey’s soaring 80’s vocal delivery wouldn’t fair well in the grunge era. Anthrax recruited Armored Saint vocalist, John Bush — whose pipes where more Chris Cornell and less Steve Perry — to be their lead singer. With their new front man in place, Anthrax adopted a darker, more serious 90’s sound and released a fantastic album, 1993’s, “The Sound of White Noise.” The success would be short lived however, as the band would struggle the next ten years with record labels, line-up changes, and an alternative musical climate that was hostile to metal bands in general.

With the release of “Worship Music”. Anthrax fans finally get a chance to hear what a modern Anthrax record would sound like with Joey Belladonna on lead vocals once again. The ironic thing is that “Worship Music” sounds in a lot of ways like a 90’s record. The riffs are more reminiscent of a detuned 90’s sound than those that we enjoyed in the 80’s. Joey Belladonna’s vocals are deeper on the record. Don’t get me wrong the range is there, and in fine form, but he seems to be singing in a lower register on most of the record (probably to be in key with the detuned guitars). It’s not a bad thing. It works and he sounds amazing. On a track like, “Crawl” he even sounds like 90’s grunge superstar and vocal mercenary Chris Cornell.

“Worship Music” somehow manages to sound like a natural successor to both 1990’s “Persistence of Time” and 2003’s “We’ve Come For You All.” The album continues the darker feel of “Persistence of Time”, while continuing the detuned modern riffage of “We’ve Come For You All.” After a brief instrumental into, “Worship Music” opens with it’s only true thrasher, a scorcher of a track called, “Earth on Hell.” It’s the perfect track to open with and let the fans know that after an eight year absence, Anthrax are back and ready to rip your dick off. Track two, “The Devil You Know”, stomps along merrily with a Helmet-esque stop and start riff. The song features a hooky chorus and an AC/DC groove. “Fight’em ‘Till You Can’t” is an obvious first single. A fun metal tune about surviving an unfortunate encounter with the undead, “Fight’em” sports a memorable pre-chorus Scott Ian chant ala “Among the Living” and a powerhouse chorus. Once again Joey shines on lead vocals. The song also gives the best drummer in metal, Charlie Benante, a chance to shine in his own “Tom Sawyer” moment at the tail end of Rob Caggiano’s killer guitar solo. Of course, Frank Bello returns and the criminally underrated bassist once again ably lays down the fat.

The centerpiece of the album is the epic “In the End”, a song lamenting the loss of two of metal’s giants; Black Sabbath’s Ronnie James Dio and frequent Anthrax guest soloist and Pantera axe-man, Dimebag Darrell. I would say that “In the End” is the best song on the album if every other song didn’t also deserve that distinction. “Judas Priest” is another notable sprawling epic. Hell, they’re all notable. “The Giant”, “The Constant”, and album closer “Revolution Screams” are all stellar additions to the Anthrax cannon of thrash metal.

Joey Belladonna is the star of “Worship Music.” He came back to the band he helped make one of the Big Four and simply hit it out of the park. It is his best vocal performance on an Anthrax album. “Worship Music” is a mature record by a seasoned band. The record didn’t come easy and its troubles have been well documented (we won’t get into all of THAT here). It is easily the best new release by any of the Big Four. It is an album that shows incredible growth, but it is also one from a band who knows who, and are comfortable with, what they are. Whereas thrash peers like Megadeth, Slayer, and Metallica have chosen to play it safe with their recent releases, Anthrax have chosen to evolve and push the envelope. The result is one of the most rewarding metal albums you will hear. Whereas most bands struggle to release music that can stand next to their greatest achievements, Anthrax have pulled off the seemingly impossible; at almost thirty years of age they recaptured the greatness of their 80’s output, brought it into the twenty-first century, and surpassed it. “Worship Music” is Anthrax’s best album. 9.7/10